Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Some day..

Good will overcome evil. Until then, I want to push this video to the forefront. A reminder of a life so beautiful, crushed and then rebounding stronger then ever.

It shall never be forgotten that it is NEVER, under ANY circumstance, OKAY TO SHAKE A BABY!!!!!!!!!!! Shaking a baby shatters lives. Many many lives. I can't stress how much pain we have gone through watching all that Emma has had to endure. So much pain... it still hurts each and every single day to see the damages shaken baby syndrome has caused to my sweet, perfect Emma....

"The only thing necessary for evil to thrive is for good men of conscience to do nothing'"
Edmund Burke

Never forget to be a good citizen, child abuse affects each and every person on our planet. If you suspect ANYTHING call call CALL! Don't say "I don't want to be involved!" Why? If you turn a blind eye and don't protect a child/the elderly/the disabled/our neighbors.. you are just as culpable as the person committing the crime! This has to end.. NOW! Be a good neighbor.

Always remember.. somebody somewhere is fighting a bigger battle then you know. A kind smile, a hello, how are you, or can I help you can go a long, long, long way in somebody's life.... Pay it forward. Kindness, goodness, love, and compassion. We are capable of it. I know it. I know we can be good again. I know I am not perfect, I don't even pretend to be, I am working so hard on being kinder, gentler, and more understanding, compassionate, and loving. We can do it.. just one person can make a huge impact. With the economy, the healthcare and unrest in our world, we are people under stress and uncertainty but there are people dying of hunger who would give anything to have some rice. Some are lonely and would love a hug...

Wow.. how did I get on THAT soapbox?

Throw me some ideas. What can we do? What will YOU do?

I will think of something to do. I am going to keep my eyes open... there is a senior apartment complex near by. Maybe I can make something for somebody and leave a random "just because" gift.

Monday, October 19, 2009


How much cuter can you get? She is such a happy little thing. My big first grader. Sighh...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The time has come...


The time has come where Emma is starting to be more and more aware of the things that are happening to her, about things that have happened to her and why she is "different".

She talks about her most recent surgery. She knows her head was fixed, although I am not exactly sure what her comprehension level is but she understands. I think more so then I give her credit for. So, today, I was looking at the photos I have of her from a few days after her head injury and her recovery. First she said "Oohhh poor baby! She's sick!". Then she noticed me in the other photos with "the sick baby" and she asked me "what's the baby's name?". I said "Emma". She said "like me?". "No, baby, that IS you. That is you when you were a baby and you had a head injury". (I have told her several times that she had a head injury.). She then asked me a loaded question. "Why?". I just looked at her with my jaw dropped, and tears pooling in my eyes and said "I don't know the answer just yet".

How does a mother look her daughter in her eyes and say "You were abused. You were a normal, healthy, bouncing beautiful baby and you were shaken. Your brain was murdered and your "normal" life was stolen. You were shaken and I can't tell you why because the person who did this will NEVER admit to doing it, let alone why". I don't want to lie to her, but how do you tell your child the truth, when this will be a painful truth. I am not ready to answer this, I need to wait until I think she is ready and can understand the impact of the answer. However, who am I to decide WHEN she is ready? How do I tell her? Is there any way in this world to lessen the heartache? Isn't that what a mom is supposed to do- make the heartache go away, kiss the boo-boo's goodbye?

It boils down to... I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to lie to her because that will be more painful.

Bah. I am rambling. Remember.. it's NEVER ok to shake a baby!

September 2010, is the 11th International Conference on Shaken Baby Syndrome and it's in Atlanta Georgia this round. I have never been able to attend and I really, really hope I can this time. There are events and special rates for survivors and their families (and families of non-survivors). I am just hoping financially I can swing it. If you know anybody who wants to sponsor a struggling momma raising a child suffering from Shaken Impact Syndrome while going to college, let me know! LOL. Or better yet, let them know! Just kidding, but actually, not really. LOL. I am saving up and hoping to score a job on campus next semester for Work Study, I think that will be easier then working off campus. I really am wanting to go. It's a year away and will allow me time to be able to save up. I am nervous taking Emma on a trip like this, but it may not be as bad as I think. Either ways... Atlanta 2010 HERE WE COME! I just really, really want Emma to start meeting other children who are JUST LIKE HER! To know, she is not alone.

Here's the link to the conference and also, it's a GREAT site with a wealth of information about Shaken Baby Syndrome. National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome

Sunday, October 4, 2009

NEVER Shake a Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photobucket Today is a very very sad day. Too many babies are being shaken, some die, many have profound disabilities and some come out with minor disabilities. Why is today extra sad? I just learned that my friend, whom I met through a Shaken Baby Syndrome Support Group, lost her son today. When he was a newborn he was shaken so severely that he was left severely disabled. Today he was a 7th grader. He never learned to walk, talk, and was blind. His basic life was stolen from him as a baby and today, he is gone for good.
This is a strong reminder.. NEVER under any circumstance SHAKE A BABY!!!! Just walk away.
I am in a VERY bad mood right now. I am pissed off at another injustice in this world. He didn't deserve this, his mother didn't deserve this and NO BABY deserves this. His death hits very close to home, we never physically met but over the last 4 years I was able to call his mother friend and I thought of TJ quite often. What should be a joyous time in their lives is now tragedy.
A bloody travesty.