Happy New Year's!!!

My goodness, another year has passed. Not only that, we have passed a full decade in to the Millennium. How many of you remember the Y2K fears? I do. I remember December 31, 1999 going to downtown Tempe for the Fiesta Bowl Block Party and if I remember correctly, University of Nebraska was playing at the Fiesta Bowl. I also remember it being the first New Year's in which I could legally drink alcohol but my friends weren't quite there yet. We went down to wait for the clock to hit midnight and welcome the insanity that was to happen at that point. Pop! Boom! Fizz... seriously? That's it? Oh well, it's always exciting to wonder about the unknown. I guess that's why I like dystopian, speculative, paranormal, urban fantasies, scifi, fantasy and mysteries sooo much. Ahh, though, to be young and 21 again..

As I am sitting at home, running a fever due to a stomach virus I caught from my daughter, I am looking back over the last decade. CRAZY! I can not believe how much two people have been able to take and survive! Looking back... I see life, death, births, happiness, heartache, disappointments, goals, let downs, child abuse, trials, heart attacks, cancer, job losses, job gains, losses again, finding old friends, making new friends, family, homelessness, recovery, Iraq war, and this list can go on. These things listed have been happening in my personal life (whether to me personally or my family) but some didn't survive (my first two daughters didn't survive long after their births and my mother lost her life to cancer) but the rest of us did. We haven't come out of this first part of 2000s unscathed but I refuse to let the last 10 years dictate the next 10 of my life. I am turning 32 in 10 days and am not getting younger.

I like New Year's Resolutions. They are goals that you write and hope to keep. They are a positive motivator to want to better ourselves.

10 years and how about 10 resolutions???

1. Being more stable with employment, education and health. No gaps.

2. Work on my patience levels.

3. Be a kinder person.

4. Lead a healthier lifestyle- eat healthier, exercise more, phase out caffeine completely, go to my doctor for a healthy lifestyle plan, staying positive being a BETTER FRIEND and being open to have healthier interpersonal relationships. Also, being more accepting of all the things in the past and give it up that I can NOT change what has happened but to continue to better myself for it!

5. Reading more, having a faster turn around for reviews, and keeping up with my blog more. Maybe even start a book club? I love Dog-eared used books (dogearedusedbooks.com), a local independent used book store, and may hook up with them for a club! I want to though, feature them on my blog and take some photos!

6. Volunteer in the community more with Emma and getting her into Girl Scouts. I feel so much of her time outside the home is school and therapies, she needs more, I don't want to see productive because school and therapies are productive, socially productive time. This also includes doing more for Child Abuse prevention right here in my community.

7. Do more activities with my daughter. Library, parks, crafts, etc.

8. Getting Emma potty trained and out of her wheelchair!

9. Fix myself up more. I rarely wear makeup, style my hair or get dressed up. I need to do that more. Just for me.

10. Last but not least.. no more slacking on housework!

Oh wait, one more.

11. Get out more. I spend so much time at home, work and school is starting up later in January, I need more social time. Seriously. Also, included will be getting back home to visit family and friends more. I also add in the Shaken Baby Conference in September as part of my resolution.

Fundraising site for Emma's bike!

This is the widget that will connect over to paypal in which any funds that come in will go DIRECTLY to Freedom Concepts, the manufacturer of the bike. I will not see a penny, it goes right in to Emma's bike account. Once the full amount is raised, then the bike will be built and shipped to Emma. I love the Widget, it shows the progress. You can also remain anonymous. It's GREAT!




Below is the link to the site, just copy and paste to your browser so you can read more!
http://freedomconcepts.chipin.com/emma

Thank you! We know times are tough for everybody, even if you can forward to link to your readers, family, friends, and such, that would help so much. I am starting a new job on Monday, the 30th, so I won't be able to contribute for a few weeks and then not again until my tax refund has been sent to me. Then whatever is left at that time on the balance towards the bike, my tax refund should cover it! Will make a great Spring time gift for Emma!

Take the Pledge to Help Stop the Spread of Germs

Take the Pledge to Help Stop the Spread of Germs: "Pledge today at wetones.com to help keep your family and community healthy this cold and flu season. You'll get a valuable coupon and we'll provide a donation to The Kids In Need Foundation for the first 100,000 pledges submitted!"

Bikes!

Too make a long story short, Emma was born a happy, healthy normal baby until she suffered a horrific act of child abuse called "Shaken Baby Syndrome" (SBS). Emma suffered SBS with a blunt force trauma. She was in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit for one month following major brain surgery in which a portion of her brain had to be removed, part of her skull removed, a shunt placed to keep fluid off of her brain, and just overall recovery. After the month long stay, she was moved to the Neurological Rehabilitation Unit for another month in which she endured grueling physical, occupation and speech therapies. She had to learn to eat again, to sit up again, to smile, and regain all she had lost. She ended up being put on a feeding tube as she wasn't intaking enough calories and she was inhaling most of her fluids which put her at risk for pneumonia and other lung issues. She wore a helmet, a leg brace, an arm brace and had issues with her vision due to the brain damage.

Now 5 years later, she is just starting to walk, she has cerebral palsy on the left side of her body, she is cognitively delayed, speech delayed, and no longer wears a helmet after having major surgery this last July.

One issue we have is that due to her Cerebral Palsy, she can not walk very fast. Which means not enough cardio. The best way to get that heart beating is riding a bicycle! Today we were fitted for a bicycle along with several other special needs kids. These bikes are adapted for each child's different disabilities. These bikes, however, are not covered by insurance and are very expensive. We are going to do some fundraising activities so that all the children can own a bike and lead independent lives. These bikes, as I said, are expensive. However, they will last many years, to adulthood with changing a few things (seat, handle bars, etc) in the future. I am also going to call on those in the Blogosphere for help! This is going to be Emma's Christmas gift. Since I have been unemployed, I just don't have the money. I start a job at the end of November and hope I can come up with $500.

$1 will go soooo far in this quest. Let's say through the internet we raise enough to buy Emma's bike and THEN some, the left over money will go to the pot for other kids. I am brainstorming right now.

The company that makes the bikes is going to email me the estimate and a link to set up a page for Emma for donations. I am so excited. If I can get her this bike, it will be such an AMAZING gift for her. Hours upon hours of happiness. The chance to join other kids outside, to be independent, and just be happy. Most of the kids with disabilities don't get a chance to play with other kids because their free time is spent on therapies (Physical, speech, occupational), doctors, and just to do a normal activity takes much longer. They spend so much of their time working.

I just hope that when I get the link that I can ask you all to pass it around. Like I said, $1 will be sooo huge!!!!

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Some day..

Good will overcome evil. Until then, I want to push this video to the forefront. A reminder of a life so beautiful, crushed and then rebounding stronger then ever.

It shall never be forgotten that it is NEVER, under ANY circumstance, OKAY TO SHAKE A BABY!!!!!!!!!!! Shaking a baby shatters lives. Many many lives. I can't stress how much pain we have gone through watching all that Emma has had to endure. So much pain... it still hurts each and every single day to see the damages shaken baby syndrome has caused to my sweet, perfect Emma....

"The only thing necessary for evil to thrive is for good men of conscience to do nothing'"
Edmund Burke

Never forget to be a good citizen, child abuse affects each and every person on our planet. If you suspect ANYTHING call call CALL! Don't say "I don't want to be involved!" Why? If you turn a blind eye and don't protect a child/the elderly/the disabled/our neighbors.. you are just as culpable as the person committing the crime! This has to end.. NOW! Be a good neighbor.

Always remember.. somebody somewhere is fighting a bigger battle then you know. A kind smile, a hello, how are you, or can I help you can go a long, long, long way in somebody's life.... Pay it forward. Kindness, goodness, love, and compassion. We are capable of it. I know it. I know we can be good again. I know I am not perfect, I don't even pretend to be, I am working so hard on being kinder, gentler, and more understanding, compassionate, and loving. We can do it.. just one person can make a huge impact. With the economy, the healthcare and unrest in our world, we are people under stress and uncertainty but there are people dying of hunger who would give anything to have some rice. Some are lonely and would love a hug...

Wow.. how did I get on THAT soapbox?

Throw me some ideas. What can we do? What will YOU do?

I will think of something to do. I am going to keep my eyes open... there is a senior apartment complex near by. Maybe I can make something for somebody and leave a random "just because" gift.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Seriously...

How much cuter can you get? She is such a happy little thing. My big first grader. Sighh...

The time has come...

The time has come where Emma is starting to be more and more aware of the things that are happening to her, about things that have happened to her and why she is "different".

She talks about her most recent surgery. She knows her head was fixed, although I am not exactly sure what her comprehension level is but she understands. I think more so then I give her credit for. So, today, I was looking at the photos I have of her from a few days after her head injury and her recovery. First she said "Oohhh poor baby! She's sick!". Then she noticed me in the other photos with "the sick baby" and she asked me "what's the baby's name?". I said "Emma". She said "like me?". "No, baby, that IS you. That is you when you were a baby and you had a head injury". (I have told her several times that she had a head injury.). She then asked me a loaded question. "Why?". I just looked at her with my jaw dropped, and tears pooling in my eyes and said "I don't know the answer just yet".

How does a mother look her daughter in her eyes and say "You were abused. You were a normal, healthy, bouncing beautiful baby and you were shaken. Your brain was murdered and your "normal" life was stolen. You were shaken and I can't tell you why because the person who did this will NEVER admit to doing it, let alone why". I don't want to lie to her, but how do you tell your child the truth, when this will be a painful truth. I am not ready to answer this, I need to wait until I think she is ready and can understand the impact of the answer. However, who am I to decide WHEN she is ready? How do I tell her? Is there any way in this world to lessen the heartache? Isn't that what a mom is supposed to do- make the heartache go away, kiss the boo-boo's goodbye?

It boils down to... I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to lie to her because that will be more painful.

Bah. I am rambling. Remember.. it's NEVER ok to shake a baby!

September 2010, is the 11th International Conference on Shaken Baby Syndrome and it's in Atlanta Georgia this round. I have never been able to attend and I really, really hope I can this time. There are events and special rates for survivors and their families (and families of non-survivors). I am just hoping financially I can swing it. If you know anybody who wants to sponsor a struggling momma raising a child suffering from Shaken Impact Syndrome while going to college, let me know! LOL. Or better yet, let them know! Just kidding, but actually, not really. LOL. I am saving up and hoping to score a job on campus next semester for Work Study, I think that will be easier then working off campus. I really am wanting to go. It's a year away and will allow me time to be able to save up. I am nervous taking Emma on a trip like this, but it may not be as bad as I think. Either ways... Atlanta 2010 HERE WE COME! I just really, really want Emma to start meeting other children who are JUST LIKE HER! To know, she is not alone.

Here's the link to the conference and also, it's a GREAT site with a wealth of information about Shaken Baby Syndrome. National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome

NEVER Shake a Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is a very very sad day. Too many babies are being shaken, some die, many have profound disabilities and some come out with minor disabilities. Why is today extra sad? I just learned that my friend, whom I met through a Shaken Baby Syndrome Support Group, lost her son today. When he was a newborn he was shaken so severely that he was left severely disabled. Today he was a 7th grader. He never learned to walk, talk, and was blind. His basic life was stolen from him as a baby and today, he is gone for good.

This is a strong reminder.. NEVER under any circumstance SHAKE A BABY!!!! Just walk away.

I am in a VERY bad mood right now. I am pissed off at another injustice in this world. He didn't deserve this, his mother didn't deserve this and NO BABY deserves this. His death hits very close to home, we never physically met but over the last 4 years I was able to call his mother friend and I thought of TJ quite often. What should be a joyous time in their lives is now tragedy.

A bloody travesty.

Mmmm Cookies!

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Head on over to her blog to enter!
http://www.kitchen.amoores.com/2009/08/09/pilsbury-simplytm-cookies-review-giveaway/